There is a paradox in intimacy that many of us stumble into:
“There is no space for desire when a relationship gets too close.”
At first glance, this feels like betrayal to the heart that longs to merge.
To someone with anxious attachment, it sounds like abandonment.
But to the avoidant, it feels like truth finally spoken.
“Aren’t we supposed to be close?”
asks the inner child, eyes wide with longing.
Yes—
But not so close that we lose the ground we’re growing on.
🌱 Relationships Are Like Gardens
Imagine love as a garden bed.
If you want something to grow, you don’t step on it.
You prepare the soil—the inner self.
You plant seeds—intention, attention, care.
You water—with affection, trust, and presence.
But you do not compact the earth by standing on it.
You do not yank the shoots out to check if they’re growing.
And most importantly, you do not demand the harvest appear before its time.
The most beautiful gardens are not smothered with love.
They are tended with devotion… from the edges.
💫 Closeness Doesn’t Mean Entanglement
To desire someone is to feel the mystery of them.
To feel their edges, their autonomy, their aliveness.
When we collapse that space—when we merge too deeply—we lose sight of what’s separate and sacred.
We trample the fragile shoots of individuality.
We blur into each other so much that there’s nothing left to move toward, to be curious about, to miss.
And where there is no space, desire cannot breathe.
Love needs closeness.
But desire?
Desire needs space.
Desire is the dance in the space between.
🌀 The Relationship Happens in the “Between”
True intimacy isn’t about constant proximity.
It’s about attuned presence with energetic space.
You don’t disappear into the other.
You stand beside them—fully yourself.
Tending the shared garden with respect for your own roots.
You observe each other with wonder.
You nourish without control.
You trust the mystery of growth.
🌸 So Ask Yourself:
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Am I standing on the garden bed in this relationship?
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Am I leaving enough space for desire to blossom?
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Do I know the sound of my own soul, even as I stand beside another?
Healthy love is not about fusion.
It’s about two sovereign beings choosing—again and again—to nurture what lives between them.
Not too close.
Not too far.
Just close enough to let the garden grow.
With tenderness and truth,
🌿
Let love be spacious.
Let desire be sacred.
Let your garden bloom.
